Talk:Juan Williams

Mary, I think it's a good plan of attack to put topical articles up. Remember to start with an encyclopaedic opening. See my first edit. 5 W's, (and an 'H'!) Aleta Curry 21:09, 22 October 2010 (UTC)

Thanks Aleta! I was starting to make the same edits you did and noticed you had started editing so I did not save the changes. I agree with your edits as that's how I would have written it. I was trying to make the article sound more like an encyclopedia rather than a news story. If I were to write it as a news story it would have been:

Juan Williams was fired from his National Public Radio job after comments he made during a Fox News television show...blah, blah, blah. Love your edits and thank you! Mary Ash 21:45, 22 October 2010 (UTC)

Ooh - sorry! Didn't mean to cross-edit! Did you get ye olde 'edit conflict!' message? Irritating, but can't be helped.

Looking at your 'newspaper copy' - yes, it's pithy, but do you see that that assumes the reader knows who he is in the first place? Also, think of a teenager in Calcutta reading your piece...what's Fox News? Should it be in brackets so they can read all about it?

Keep in mind that (in my view at least) an encyclopaedia should provide easy, informative reading for a person who has never heard of the subject before. The goal is to make people want to browse through its pages.

Aleta Curry 21:59, 22 October 2010 (UTC)

Suggestions

We need to create at least a brief National Public Radio article, and move some of the things that are more NPR than Williams there. The two articles, of course, should cross-link. Remember that there is also some topical involvement from George Soros.

This article might also link to Islamophobia.

Paragraphs 2 through 4 of the lede should move under the first heading, and the official correspondence under a 2nd level subhead. The whole NPR-Williams-Fox issue is not new, and should be documented before the firing. I'd hardly call Williams a little-known figure, but I'd also call nationwide fame a little strong. Howard C. Berkowitz 22:34, 22 October 2010 (UTC)

I spliced some

I did my thing with the first paragraph! Didn't add or subtract, only moved around. It needs some more finesse. D. Matt Innis 22:41, 22 October 2010 (UTC)

Thanks everyone! Nice to see some collaboration at work. I had fun starting the article and I look forward to everyone helping out.Mary Ash 22:45, 22 October 2010 (UTC)